For Such a Life
Jesus has been teaching me about relaxing and enjoying. My Bible study has been about delighting in Jesus and finding my joy and treasure in him. And the sin that I have been convicted of as of late is holding onto the negative—instead of striving for the joy. I imagine these lessons will be coming toward me in various ways over the next several weeks (months? years?). I am reminded that we do not grow instantly. I want results. But, it’s okay that it will take me some time to reorient my worst-case-scenario thinking.
Jesus wants it to be abundantly clear to my spirit that I have plenty that is full of joy in my life. One area that comes to mind especially is ample time to do as I please. This is a luxury. And I know that not all have it. That makes me want to enjoy it all the more. That podcast episode that I want to hear? I can make time for it. That book that I have started? I am going to be able to finish it, Lord willing. The reflection that I want to do over this blog and its direction? I will be able to sit and pray/ contemplate.
Ample time for leisure and desired activities is not a luxury I have always had, and not one that all share. It is born partly from having one child to raise who is in school all day, partly from having left the workforce when we moved from Texas to Illinois a few years ago, and partly from the fact that I have graduated now from my master’s program in theological studies that took me many years to complete. I am not used to not having pressing needs or deadlines—but here I am. Most of all, this time comes from the sovereign hand of God in my life—the God who puts the journal in front of me and nudges my spirit to write my thoughts before him, the God who fills my mind with curiosities about what I will read or discover next, and the God who is with me even as I write these words.
My temptation is to feel like I am not productive if I am not working toward a goal. I have been achievement-oriented to a fault. Not having goals, I have been bracing for falling off some arbitrary mental ledge. But instead, Jesus is working this achievement orientation out of me with this great grace: with thoughts of relaxation and enjoyment. Have you noticed too how gracious Jesus works sins out of our lives—with kindness and mercies?
What if being productive is not the call of God on my life at this time? Author Chelsea Sobolik recently wrote about the difference between calling and assignment. My calling is love: toward God and others. But, in short, my assignment at this time is to this simple, quiet life. Sobolik referenced a verse that I often call to mind: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you” (1 Thess. 4:11). This is my quiet little life. God has brought it to me. And, it ought to be my ambition to live it—not only that, but to live it with great joy.
When I delight in the life God has given me, I am honoring and blessing him. I am proclaiming my contentment. I am blessing the hand that set me here. And, I am honoring the wisdom that is giving me these lessons, and not others—these days, and not busy days. Let me make the most of this time, of these quiet days, of the work that I do with my hands here and now.
How could I not want to linger with God over the pages of Scripture and deepen my faith through reading the works of others? How could I not want to sit right here in this desk chair, looking out at my wooded, peaceful backyard that will soon be full of spring, and not want to glorify my Maker for such a life?