Today Is for Hope

When my daughter was stillborn, I pleaded with God to accept her home and let me follow. I asked that Jesus would please take me home. What I didn’t know is that He wanted me to stay on earth to learn to know and love Him more.

“She is okay”—that’s what I told myself, as I imagined my daughter in paradise. I deeply wanted to join her. In that desire, I think I issued a bit of rebellion against this life—deciding somewhere within my heart that not fully living would be a tribute of sorts to my girl. I also believe that I grew away from the Lord relationally even though I hung onto my theological understandings. He didn’t grant my request to go home.

I connected with people over the internet about my loss, in an online community, but not as much in person. I didn’t receive the full grace God blessed me with in my church community, and I waited on God to take me home—one day at least, even if not in the days immediately following my daughter’s stillbirth.

I decided somewhere deep within that it would be “okay” with God that I put up this inner protest because I felt I had gone through something so difficult. But I now realize that God doesn’t accept the protest (or the rebellion). He declines.

Instead, He provides; He lifts. And, He causes me to move forward. He does. This is what Jesus does for me, and I love Him for it because it will product an eternal glory that far outweighs this all. I am a Jesus-woman, and He is my hope.

Lianna B. Davis

Lianna Davis is a student of the Word with a B.A. in Ministry to Women from Moody Bible Institute. She and her husband, Tyler, reside outside of Dallas, Texas and have two dear daughters, one who lives in heaven and one who lives on earth. She is author of Made for a Different Land: Eternal Hope for Baby Loss (Hope Mommies, 2019) and Keeping the Faith: A Study in Jude (Moody, 2020).

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Today Is for Freedom and Peace