Wretched Woman That I Am

“Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24). I am in agreement with the Apostle Paul. Wretched woman that I am! Jesus has to remind me to steer away from the same sins repeatedly. And then, I tend to minimize my sins before Him. Finally, doubts enter my mind. And all of that adds up to my pronouncement.

Paul would not have written it if it were not true. Oh, I am glad to find a friend in Paul—not glad that we both consider ourselves wretched or that we have existed in such states. But I am glad to know that Jesus saves those in our condition. How kind and gentle a Savior He is. Truly. He firmly steers me aright.

And from this view, acknowledging more and more of my real need for Jesus, the cross appears absolutely marvelous. That God would die for sinners, while still sinners! That God would die for me! It is beyond my understanding.

How I Love Jesus

Oh, how I love Jesus! He is all. Wonder of wonders. Master and Savior. Friend and Counselor. Guide and Companion. King and Lord. Ruler of all. Gentle Shepherd. He speaks to my soul with a calming voice. He arouses my attentions with commands. He enlivens my senses with His interactions. How I love Jesus.

There is no one like Him. There is no one who approaches His warmth, kindness, His power and majesty. Eternity will be marvelous—bowing before the one who condescended to love us.

I think about how God regretted that He made man (Genesis 6:6). But still, He came to die for our sins, to save us from wrath, for the joy! He is ever giving me the reorienting truths of His Word, and comforting applications of His kindness.

Jesus is my sweet melody. He is my reason. He is my Word. He is the one I marvel at. How I love Jesus!

Queen of Fears

Have you ever known someone with more fears than me? I would venture to say you have not. It is my fear that keeps me from greater closeness with Jesus. It is my fear that keeps me from communing with Him as I so desire to do.

Will you join me in condemning fear? Jesus did not give us a spirit of timidity—but of power, love, and sound judgment (2 Timothy 1:7). I can sometimes fear that I am not solidified enough in who I am, or that I will be swept away down a foolish path. But I put my faith in Jesus, who has led me out of every pit. I put my faith in Him that He would redeem me from anything that comes upon me, or any ways I am misled. He is the Shepherd who goes after the one lost sheep—and that lost little sheep is me.

I don’t fear losing my salvation because Jesus is my Shepherd. He has promised me eternal life. And, that is the future I have. I don’t fear being lost to sin, because I have a Shepherd who plucks me from the grip of the enemy. I don’t fear that I will develop a wrong pattern of thinking that will alienate me from God. For, Jesus is my perfect, never-failing intermediary with the Father. And Jesus straightens my paths—even my paths of thought. Isn’t He good? May I not be the queen of fears anymore. Amen.

With Jesus, I don’t need to fear.

He Wants Me

Jesus wants me. This, the foundation for life and living. He wants me in relationship with Him. He wants me to know Him. He wants me near to Him. He wants me to know that He rejoices over me with singing. He wants me to know that I am the apple of His eye.

Thinking about Jesus wanting me, wanting a relationship with me fills me—as with elation. Nothing is better than this: to know that the God of all creation, the eternal one with matchless name, wants me. And He wants me to know Him more; He wants to unveil more of Himself to me. I am wrapped in Him, in His wanting of me. It’s so good. Oh, I am happy in Jesus.

Do you know the sweetness of the presence of Jesus? Do you find yourself satisfied with Him every day? Cherish no sin in your heart, become a living sacrifice, live by faith and give all to find the sweetness of knowing Jesus and being known by Him. And I will keep these before my eyes too. Still, I know that He has wanted me from before all time, and that hasn’t changed through sin and doubt. He wants me.

He Honors our Faith

Jesus will never leave or forsake me. It’s what I know, deep down. Sometimes, the events of this world pull at me. And resultantly, I have less clear an image of Jesus with me, watching over me, and leading me. I fight to keep my sense of Him as near, as if before my eyes. I am richly blessed to know Him. And I want no enjoyments of earth to make my sense of Him and His goodness less crystal. I need faith.

My mind can also sometimes ache with anxieties. I ask Jesus for His comfort. He gives it. And I remember to put my faith, all my confidence of faith, in Him. How my mind is relieved at the exercise of faith! How near He is to my enlivened senses! How He honors faith! Never can we be disappointed by putting our faith completely in Jesus. He works through our faith. And many gifts come to us when we exercise it. How many saints of old have known this, lived by faith in the Master? And we can know it too.

He Calls Me Higher

I sat with Jesus this morning, near to His heart—where He tenderly and so graciously keeps me as His own. I sat and felt Him call my thoughts of Him higher. And my mind lifted; my disposition lifted. Who I am is so directly connected with who He is; I am in Him, united.

He wanted my mind to think of Him as noble, great, wise, high and lifted up. These thoughts should immediately follow from thinking of Him and His name. How much help my mind needs with regard to all things spiritual! But this is who He is—my mighty King.

So, I reflected today on Him as King of kings and Lord of lords. And I read about the millennium, in which He will reign for 1,000 years on this earth. I read about how He will shepherd with an iron scepter—in Revelation. He will establish righteous order on the earth. And, I read in Psalm 72 about His fame, and how the nations will glorify Him with gifts, and how He will reign from sea to sea and over all the earth. And I read about how He alone is the one who works wonders. No one is like our God.

Do you not long to see that day—when the whole world will give Him glory and will contribute to the greatness and fame of His name? What a contrast to this day! But the enemy is running out of time—and the day will soon come when our God will be glorified in His world and by the people He has made. How great is our God! Every knee will bow.

Lift, lift, lift my thoughts of You.

Nothing, But Crowned with Everything

When I imagine going to glory, I think of the song “Rock of Ages,” which says, “Naked, come to Thee for dress.” I think of flying to Jesus with absolutely nothing of my own. And then, I think of Him crowning me with everything precious and good. And this is His choice—to take me and my nothingness and crown me with this everything. May this precious image stay with me always. May I ever remember that I offer Jesus nothing. I come to Him naked, empty, lost, and vile—and He clothes me, fills me, finds me, and makes me clean.

My Jesus, my Jesus. Look what you have done for helpless me. Thank You, thank You, thank You for the welcome to glory that you are planning for me. I accept because it pleases You for me to accept your good gifts, for me to accept that You crown me with faithful love and compassion. And I accept because I am so needy for You. Thank You for wanting me.

He Works with Us

Jesus works with us. Have you noticed that too? He converses with our spirits, and He walks with us as we give what we have to offer—and He waits for more. He works goodness out of us through continual interaction.

This is the grace of God: that He hears us when we say we are concerned, that His ear is toward us when we say that we need help, that He makes the way for us when we don’t see the path forward. In all of these ways He works with us.

But I mean even something more—something I am just now learning experientially about Him. He does not give up on us when we are struggling to obey. He does not leave us when we are wresting and don’t have the perfect response to give to Him.

He works with me—He works goodness out of me, and doesn’t leave. It’s a grace that He affords that makes me marvel. For He deserves everything, immediately. But when I struggle, when I wrestle, when it takes me some time to obey, He still stays. Gracious God! Why does He stay with someone like me? But He does. He does. He does.

And I yearn for the immediate and perfect obedience of glory, and for immediate obedience here.

Coming Home

Coming to Jesus is like coming home. I want to know Him in a close way all of my life. I want to trust Him as my Lord and Master every minute. I want Him to know and feel from me that I follow Him alone. I think back over the course of my life: I don’t have anything to offer Him, not really. I have so largely built my spiritual life on self-righteousness instead of true humility and spirituality. But He has still sustained me and enabled me to get where I am today: with Him still. And I want to say so publicly: He has done it all in and for me. And I have done nothing.

Jesus, when you come to get me, when you come to take me home—it will be the happiest moment of my existence that I can presently imagine. In the meantime, may I build well: may I build with materials that last, that will withstand the purifying fire that is to come. You are so perfectly holy, so good and true—wise. What can I do but long to know you and be wrapped one day in your actual arms. Oh that day!

While you have me here, I choose to be a good follower of yours and take the lessons you have been teaching me, and live with you and for you. Never do I want to lose closeness with you—what a gift for this sinner saved by pure grace. Let me now build well, as you lead. I bow. I love you. Amen.

Surrounded by Love

I am thoroughly enveloped by the love of Jesus. Do you know what I mean? There is love all around me. I see it in the way He is with me: in the truths He brings to me, in the change He elicits in me, in the care and concern He has for me, in the reassurances—near continual—that He gives to me, in the answers of Himself He gives to my cries for Him. His love surrounds me.

I am safe in the love of Jesus. God is love. I’ve never known a love like His, like fire—so pure—like continual sacrifice—so giving—and like understanding friendship—so gentle and kind, such that I am baffled and have no mental category to place how He treats me. God is God. I fear Him. I honor Him. I worship Him. I enjoy Him. I love Him. I wait for Him, to know more—oh, that I may know more. I lean toward Him, that I may have more precious dispensations of knowledge of Him.

I place myself in His care and under His control. And He takes me ‘neath the shadow of His wing. Thank you, Jesus.

Press On

Press on. These are the words on my heart today. I don’t understand all that God has been doing in my life. But these I know: God has a good plan for me, God cares for me personally and dearly, God is with me, God sacrifices for me, God teaches me in love, God pursues me, God is drawing me to Himself, God is helping me walk closer with Him in the truth, God will never leave me, God has purchased me with His precious blood, and all is grace.

So, I press on. I will admit that I am weary some days, that my spirit seems to fold at times, and that I have to remind myself to fully assume my self and move into my life. But press on. I press on through being reborn, through knowing that I am not who I was, through letting the rebirth of Jesus wash over me anew. For then, I remember that the calling is heavenward. It is Jesus. And, I don’t want my hands to be empty when I see Jesus. I don’t want my hands to offer nothing to Him from this life. I want to hold out goodness for Him. So press on, toward the heavenward calling, toward fellowship with Jesus, toward reborn life. Press on. Look up, and press on.

Joy

Jesus is reminding me of joy. I can choose joy. I can choose to enjoy my relationship with Jesus. There is much I have to work on with Him. Much work in surrendering that I have to do with Him, and more. I want to be closer to Him than I am. But, I can choose to enjoy the sweet and close relationship that I have with Him right now.

Jesus has been faithfully with me, providing for me, protecting me, sustaining me through all of life’s trials. And I know that He will always be my ever-present help, as the Scriptures say. He will never leave me or forsake me. He has met me in my darknest moments to pull me up and show me that as long as I have Him—and I always will—I have hope.

I celebrate this relationship, this one closer than any other. This one who has opened my heart and my eyes, who has lifted my countenance, who has taught me how to have faith and know goodness and grace. I celebrate this relationship with joy, saying, “Look how far we’ve come, thanks to You!” and “Look at what we have together!”

I can rest and enjoy.

All the Treasures

It’s a verse that comes to mind again and again: “In him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). Do you not also long to uncover more of the beauty and brilliance of Jesus? For all eternity, we will praise the treasures found in Him. I desire to see layer after exquisite layer of His wisdom and knowledge, the God-Man who died for us and lives to bring us to glory.

He is continually upending me with a graciousness and generosity I’ve never known, with a tenderness I’ve never felt, with a leadership that is wise, with provisions and answers to prayer that are love, with tastes of Himself that are otherworldly in goodness. He is beyond my comprehension, and I desire more, my God.

How lost are those without Jesus! How hopeless are those who do not find in Jesus their ultimate treasure! And this is the truth: in Jesus is the treasure of the ages that we will never exhaust. Drink of Him and be satisfied. Eat of Him and be full. He will be the wealth of all the nations, the focal point of all eternity, the Lord of the Sabbath. Seek Him, and find.

Jesus' Strength

Jesus allowed Himself to become vulnerable: a babe in a manger, one tried like us, submitting to the cross.

Can we agree that His meekness is ultimate strength? That His ability to be tender and meek is the way we are softened and brought to humility? And, it is the way we are saved. Let us hold his tenderness and meekness in highest regard—that His vulnerability allowed for the ultimate victory and His tenderness enables us to be reached in our sins. He pulls us out with His strong, ever-able arm, as we love more and more the humility of the God-Man and long to be like Him in His beauty.

Strength can be misunderstood. Strength is not necessarily dominance, though Jesus is God and demands all worship and praise. Strength is not necessarily being commanding, though Jesus commands us to follow Him and will defeat His foe with a breath. Jesus demonstrated strength in being unafraid of what was ahead for Him—in enduring the cross with joy. He demonstrated strength in His submission to the cross. This is frankly a strength that I don’t fathom. I am stopped.

He did what was necessarily to complete a mission of truth and grace—of love. And in His moment of greatest human frailty, His death, and His moment of greatest sacrifice: He triumphs. His very submission is the victory.

Yesterday, Today, and Forever

Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. That means He is to our lives a solid foundation. He is to our persons the best friend we need. He is to our spirits continual support. He is to our hearts love. He is to our selves sufficiency. Do you know Jesus like this?

We can trust in Jesus because He never changes, for all time and eternity. We need never wonder if there is shifting or shadow in Him. Thank God that we have such a wonderful Savior and Friend! Our minds can wander with doubts. Especially living this brief life on earth, full of tribulations and disappointments—sorrow and strife—we can entertain doubts about Jesus. But let’s never let those fester or overtake. Let’s bring them to Him and hear Him whisper in our ear: I am the same yesterday, today and forever for you—even as we ask that His Spirit never leave us.

Can you imagine any meaning in life without Jesus? Don’t try; there would not be. He is the purpose for all living, breathing, being. And He always stays the same, with the infinite worth. Don’t believe any lies that would take you away from the solidity of this Friend. Don’t latch onto any doubts that would have you question Him, keeping Him at a distance. Let’s believe, always—letting the Scriptures breathe the truth into us.

Relaxed

I believe it honors Jesus for us to feel relaxed. There is remaining sin after we choose to follow Jesus Christ—much (speaking of myself). And for that, there is deep grace. Grace that abounds. It’s who He is, to show us this grace. God is so very good. So, when we realize that grace is real, we can be relaxed to go before Him and to live our lives. Grace is the reason we can relax in our days.

The opposite of being relaxed, it seems to me, is to feel tense and anxious around Jesus. But that would be to think that our remaining sin keeps us from Him. Instead, we can breathe. We can receive His permission to take our sanctification journey piece by piece, knowing that He is faithful to be bringing to completion the work that He started in us.

Trusting Jesus is the basis for our relaxation. When we trust Him, we feel safe in everlasting arms. We feel surrounded by His peace, letting it reign within our hearts. Trusting Him, feeling safe with Him, we can be relaxed with Him. Relaxing means knowing that He has our lives under His almighty control. Do we trust Him enough to relax in Him?

Heaven-bound

I woke up feeling heaven-bound—a citizen of that holy city. And that, all by grace. Bright and shimmering like the stars above. Wondrous and light like a gleaming future hope. And that is what we have—a brilliant future. I forget that future sometimes, when I am anxiously slogging through present questions and doubts. When I am faced with my own sins. But, a brilliant future. Let’s not forget it, huh? He wore a crown of thorns that we might be invited into His city with crowns of reward. And He rewards what He Himself empowers in us. How good is our God to reward the righteousness that He bestows and empowers!

When I consider that life is by a view of heaven, everything changes. I am not afraid. I feel established. I fight my sins with joy. I consider life with brevity. I am confident in the cross to go before a great God. The gift of heaven changes everything. And, truly, deeply, richly believing that I am heaven-bound alters my thinking. I don’t know why God would want to save someone like me, a sinner. But He does. And He did. And He wants me. That is itself better than a thousand rewards—to know that Jesus values me. That, the basis of life itself. I love you, Jesus.

One and Only

Sometimes when I think about Jesus, I think about the pain that He felt on the cross, I think about the painstaking way He has assured me that I belong to Him, and I think about how much hurt my continued sin causes Him. It’s not fair that He go through this. It’s not fair that He came to die. It’s not fair that He continue to be “dragged” through the mess that is inside of me as I learn to follow Him. But I see in Him the picture of the ultimate Man, the God-Man. I see in Him the ultimate One who would do all of this for me. How rich is His love! How abounding, that He continue to extend Himself to me! How kind are His ways! There is nothing that can separate me from His love. He keeps His own. His strong hand surrounds me—He keeps me because He is that good. And He won’t let go, because—again—He is that good. That He would enter into the wreck that is my sin patterns against Him and say He wants to walk with me through them! How giving! How extending of Himself! Surely I would be lost without my one and only Jesus. All praise to Him forever and ever.

Know Thyself

Knowing God is what enables us to know ourselves. But it occurs to me that we must also choose to know ourselves. We must choose to exercise the faculties of reason and decision that God has given us to know ourselves well. We must choose that we know what we believe and why. We must choose to see who we are as reborn people by the cross and say there is no question: I know who I am. Once I have done this, once I have seen myself by the cross—leaning wholly upon it for my standing with God—I have asked God to hold me in this self-knowledge. I have believed in God to hold me.

The Apostle Paul states in his letter to the church at Philippi that he knew he had not reached fully maturity in Christ Jesus, yet, he did his utmost to take hold of full maturity, as he could. And he did this because Christ had already taken hold of him. In knowing ourselves, we believe, then, in what God has already done to take hold of us. Isn’t the truth that God has taken hold of us a beautiful one—calming, kind, wondrous, true, marvelous? So, he has taken hold of us, we make every effort to know so, and I believe He holds us in knowing it too. For He is that kind and that gentle and that present—ever-present to our spirits.

I Wonder

God is the great King of all creation. I wonder what He thought as He created the world. I wonder if He thought of the cross, upon which He would die. I wonder if He thought of the many who would be people of faith in Him. I wonder if He thought of the suffering that mankind would have to endure as a result of rejecting Him; there is no excuse, there being so much evidence of God in creation. I wonder if He thought of His own glory that would come from saving even us.

He made man in His image, and I wonder that He did. He knew what kind of beings He wanted to create: those capable of love—of wanting Him. And then, when we fell, I wonder that He came. I marvel that He came. Nothing is better than the cross. The more I look at the rebellion of man—we turned on Him, lest we ever think otherwise—I marvel that He came as the figurehead of the human race, after Adam. I love my Lord Jesus. I wonder what He thought as He created this world. Do you believe in Him? Do you see in Him every answer of love you’ve ever longed to hear? I do, and I do.