My Mother
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
\ Psalm 16:11
My mother is a creative soul—she is ever engaging with life, and is an inspiration to me in doing so. She uses her skills organizing and decorating and crafting and cooking to help others constantly. She is immersed in the Scriptures and always has a word of truth-speaking wisdom to share. When she is on her own time, she travels to Door County, WI, or goes to visit my sister in Kentucky. She also enjoys reading, friends, and maintaining all memories from our family heritage.
My mom, Sheryl, will bring all of these skills to this—our little homemade photography lifestyle blog posts. I supply the photography, and often, she will supply the topics of our posts.
A Quiet Life
“…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you”
1 Thessalonians 4:11
I’m a housewife. I believe it is what the Lord is asking of me—leading me to set other avenues or potential avenues aside and embrace this one. My heart is leading me home, and I’m receiving this path. In a spirit of thankfulness, setting aside work outside the home with its traditional goals and deadlines, I want to take hold of life. I want to aspire to live quietly, as the Scriptures say—to work with my hands. For me, that verse guides to photography. Embracing life through the lens—that is my quiet and simple path. When I have a goal, I focus more on what I can pull from life, what I can cultivate. So, I'm adding photography lifestyle posts to my blog in partnership with my mom. It’s all for fun—recipes, family heirlooms and history, crafts, etc. This blog is my new light goal and airy deadline—concurrent with a life at home.
For Such a Life
Photo credit: Unsplash
Jesus has been teaching me about relaxing and enjoying. My Bible study has been about delighting in Jesus and finding my joy and treasure in him. And the sin that I have been convicted of as of late is holding onto the negative—instead of striving for the joy. I imagine these lessons will be coming toward me in various ways over the next several weeks (months? years?). I am reminded that we do not grow instantly. I want results. But, it’s okay that it will take me some time to reorient my worst-case-scenario thinking.
Jesus wants it to be abundantly clear to my spirit that I have plenty that is full of joy in my life. One area that comes to mind especially is ample time to do as I please. This is a luxury. And I know that not all have it. That makes me want to enjoy it all the more. That podcast episode that I want to hear? I can make time for it. That book that I have started? I am going to be able to finish it, Lord willing. The reflection that I want to do over this blog and its direction? I will be able to sit and pray/ contemplate.
Ample time for leisure and desired activities is not a luxury I have always had, and not one that all share. It is born partly from having one child to raise who is in school all day, partly from having left the workforce when we moved from Texas to Illinois a few years ago, and partly from the fact that I have graduated now from my master’s program in theological studies that took me many years to complete. I am not used to not having pressing needs or deadlines—but here I am. Most of all, this time comes from the sovereign hand of God in my life—the God who puts the journal in front of me and nudges my spirit to write my thoughts before him, the God who fills my mind with curiosities about what I will read or discover next, and the God who is with me even as I write these words.
My temptation is to feel like I am not productive if I am not working toward a goal. I have been achievement-oriented to a fault. Not having goals, I have been bracing for falling off some arbitrary mental ledge. But instead, Jesus is working this achievement orientation out of me with this great grace: with thoughts of relaxation and enjoyment. Have you noticed too how gracious Jesus works sins out of our lives—with kindness and mercies?
What if being productive is not the call of God on my life at this time? Author Chelsea Sobolik recently wrote about the difference between calling and assignment. My calling is love: toward God and others. But, in short, my assignment at this time is to this simple, quiet life. Sobolik referenced a verse that I often call to mind: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you” (1 Thess. 4:11). This is my quiet little life. God has brought it to me. And, it ought to be my ambition to live it—not only that, but to live it with great joy.
When I delight in the life God has given me, I am honoring and blessing him. I am proclaiming my contentment. I am blessing the hand that set me here. And, I am honoring the wisdom that is giving me these lessons, and not others—these days, and not busy days. Let me make the most of this time, of these quiet days, of the work that I do with my hands here and now.
How could I not want to linger with God over the pages of Scripture and deepen my faith through reading the works of others? How could I not want to sit right here in this desk chair, looking out at my wooded, peaceful backyard that will soon be full of spring, and not want to glorify my Maker for such a life?
He Is Faithful through the Cross
Jesus is a faithful friend. We think about it. But do we know it? Do we remember how faithfully he set himself down for us, so that we could be lifted up? Do we know how resoundingly he said yes to death so that we could live?
The Sacred Cross
At times, I think about the cross, and I hold myself back from it. I think it too holy, too bold, too grand. I fear having the wrong thoughts about the cross—I fear trivializing it in any way. But, that means that my heart is sometimes far from the cross.
I think of Paul’s words that he was determined in his ministry to know nothing but Christ and him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2). That determination challenges me. My spiritual caution can cause me to do exactly what I fear. My caution with Jesus in my thought can then create distance between me and the cross I love.
Jesus is so precious to me that I hold him far from me because I know that my mind is not worthy of thoughts of the cross. My heart feels too feeble and inadequate to grasp what Jesus did for humanity.
But Jesus wants me to proceed anyway. His thoughts toward me are faithful love, and merciful lovingkindness. He wants me to dwell upon the reasons for his faithfulness: that he won me as his own child through the cross that feels too great for my person.
Jesus calls me near through the cross. Even though I keep him at a distance, he is faithful to bring the cross near. How can I do justice to that which confounds me and silences my spirit? How can I do justice to that which is more beautiful than I can express?
I Will Be Thankful for the Cross for Eternity
I need to let notions of eternity do their job in me. They have a role. And, that role is to allow for an expression of thanksgiving—to allow my imagination to receive that the cross is what I will honor forever. I need not fear, I need not keep the cross at a distance from my heart, because I will be able to express my thanks forever. When this life’s love for the cross feels inadequate, I will have eternity.
His faithfulness will never end. Even in all that eternity long, the cross will never cease to save me. There will not be a moment in eternal glory when the cross will fail to bring me at one with God—at total peace. Eternity will not change; I will have life forever. And that, that is a faithful love.
Setting the Cross Before Me
When I set the cross before my eyes—when I dare—I do not know how to react. Do I cry? Do I smile? Both? I am stunned. I don’t want to see him there: I don’t want to see my precious Lord hanging upon that tree.
But then, I am reminded of two truths. First, I remember when Jesus told Peter to get behind him (Matthew 16:23)—all in response to Peter being a stumbling block concerning Jesus’ most important work on earth. Second, I am reminded that Jesus is not hanging on the tree any longer.
You see, I need to let it have happened, like Jesus insisted to Peter that it must happen. I need to allow the truth of the historicity of the cross to be my reality—that it was God’s foreordained reality. And then, I need to remember that Jesus doesn’t suffer there anymore—and never will again. He is eternally glorified.
I am not sure that I would have been a help to Jesus had I walked among him. I wouldn’t have wanted for him what he needed to do—and indeed did for joy (Hebrews 12:2). Had I understood, would I have submitted to seeing my precious Lord hanging upon the tree? Not without anguish.
This I can remember: he hung upon the cross for me and for joy—because it was necessary to save me. Only he could be the second, better Adam. Only he could become the firstfruits and new representative of the human race so that all could be saved through him.
Thankfully, I never had to hear from Jesus: “get behind me Satan,” as Peter heard from our Lord. Thankfully, I did not have to witness the death of my Lord. Thankfully, I live in the time past the crucifixion and need not dwell upon any image that has him still on the cross. The cross is bare, as the tomb is empty. And that is very good news.
Conclusion
Jesus is faithful; he is faithful to let me mull, over time and eternity, the reality of such a sacrifice. He is faithful to bring pieces of the cross to my remembrance so that I can live with it before my eyes. He is faithful to remind me that he is now honored forevermore. He is faithful with my slowness of spirit to care for me in all of my concerns—my sorrow over his suffering and my fear that I cannot receive all of the immense meaning the cross brings into my life.
I don’t like to look at the Savior suffering. It is not pleasant to my thought. But he did it for the joy. And so, I can think of the joy it brings too. This piece of the cross God sets before me now: the joy that he is faithful to me forever through it. And, he will yield praise from me in his time and his way, as he deals with me. He is faithful to give me eternity to thank him for the tree.
My Works Have Nothing to Do With It
“For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast,” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
God gives us the gift of rest in his grace. I have been wondering how to have bold faith to fight my sin and bold grace in my life. How do the two interact? The truth is that I am always able to fight sin from the standpoint of rest. I have grace to set my head down upon, to recline upon. I always know what God’s answer will be for me when I go to him for forgiveness—it will always be grace. I can fight sin boldly knowing that I already have the complete forgiveness of God for all of my past and all of my earthly future.
I have a solidity of rest in this grace because I know that my works do not sway the hand or viewpoint of God. He has set himself for me in Christ, and this disposition is not going to change. Grace is as sure as the righteousness of Christ is complete. And, that is a place where there will be no shifting in God. Grace is foundational to my every breath and step as a Christian. If we are not living from grace, we are not living from the gospel. If we do not have a bold confidence in grace, then we are misunderstanding how the gospel is meant to inform our very lives.
I am thoroughly convinced that God wants us to make grace our haven. It is surely ours; we do not have to be timid about it. We know that his grace will meet all of our needs—and that it is a gift he will not be taking back from us. Rest in grace, reader. Rest in his gift that is not of yourself. It is heavenly and glorious—there is simply nothing like it.
Dear Jesus, my Lord, I thank you for the gift of grace that did not come from me and my works. I can live confidently because I know that your grace is my foundation and my footing. I can boldly fight the sin in my life because I am rested in my being through the gift of grace that will never leave. I thank you for such a peace and such a strength. My works have nothing to do with it—and that is the blessed eternal truth. Amen.
My Ten Favorite Books I Read for Seminary
As a recent seminary graduate, I have taken some time to reflect on my courses at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (where I took 14 credits) and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary (where I finished the majority of my degree).
In terms of overall experience, my favorite classes were: The Problem of Evil, Psalms, Ethics, The Theology of Jonathan Edwards, and American Evangelicalism (whose books I excluded from the list below because they’re discussed here).
Favorite course books (below) are drawn from Hermeneutics, Systematic Theology, Introduction to Missiology, Ethics, New Testament, The Theology of Jonathan Edwards, and The Problem of Evil.
From Eden to the New Jerusalem, by T. Desmond Alexander
An insightful and compelling telling of the storyline of the Bible from beginning to end
40 Questions About Interpreting the Bible, by Robert L. Plummer
Solid and conservative answers to issues of Bible interpretation; highly recommend
The Holy Spirit: Theology for the People of God, by Gregg R. Allison and Andreas J. Kostenberger
A captivating read about the ministry of the Holy Spirit
Christian Mission: A Concise Global History, by Edward L. Smither
An overview of the history of Christian missions that is highly readable and delightful
The Abolition of Man, by C. S. Lewis
Lays the philosophical groundwork for objectivity as the basis for moral feelings and attitudes
Natural Law: A Brief Introduction and Biblical Defense, by David Haines and Andrew A. Fulford
Two metaphysical principles and one epistemological principle necessary for the philosophical foundation of natural law
Liberty for All, by Andrew Walker
How a government understands its relationship to temporal and ultimate authority
Jonathan Edwards, by Iain Murray
A detailed, inspiring overview of the life of Jonathan Edwards
Jesus's Final Week: From Triumphal Entry to Empty Tomb, by William F. Cook
An enlightening examination of the final week of Christ, harmonizing the gospel accounts
Where Is God: A Personal Story of Finding God in Grief and Suffering, by John S. Feinberg
A thoughtful and unique contribution to material on the religious problem of evil (as opposed to the theological/ philosophical problem of evil)
The Darkness of Self-centeredness Flees
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:5).
Jesus shines. The Scriptures will never let us overlook the truth that Jesus shines in the darkness. Jesus shone in a world filled with hopelessness, strife, and self-righteousness. So, he and his ways shine in our lives when we feel the tinges of all of those areas of darkness, and more. Jesus shines to show us the way to the Father.
Jesus came to be a light for our world. And, think of how the world needs the Lord Jesus. Self reigns in the world—and self-focused thinking creeps into our Christianity too. But, God did not make us to focus on self; he made us to focus on our God and live for him. He made us to find a way of life that could benefit others and heft all of the praise of our lives onto God, and not onto ourselves.
When we start thinking highly of ourselves, darkness creeps into our lives. When we fail to give God the thanks for the accomplishments we accrue, darkness creeps into our lives. When we think that we are great and fail to see ourselves in light of the true greatness of God, again, darkness creeps into our lives. We were not made for these loads of darkness. Only the light of the knowledge of God will free us. When Jesus comes, he sweeps through our minds and reorients our thinking. Our gifts, our good accomplishments, our abilities—they all come from God without whom we would have nothing.
The light of Jesus shines in the darkness of self-centeredness. It tears us away from what we thought we needed—to become great and accomplished in this world. His light causes us to accept his purposes for our lives, even when we won’t accomplish what we wanted, what we hoped, what we conceived of. Jesus’ way is better because it’s all about him. And fear not—though the darkness of self-centeredness is great, the light of God is greater—and it truly does change us.
My dear Jesus, I am sorry for the ways that I have lived for myself. I am sorry for the ways I have thought of myself instead of you. I am sorry for the ways that I have sought greatness or grandness. I am sorry. You are great, and your light makes this darkness in my life flee. You love faithfulness to you, and seeking your honor and glory down into the very corners of my life. You love when all of the greatness and glory are ascribed to you. And this is truly a different way of life—to live for you first. It is a blessed way of life. Let me take it up all the more. Correct me and be the light for my path, my Savior, I ask. Amen.
He Is Our Blessing
We are blessed to know Jesus. He is Lord of lords and King of kings. He is also the prize of our souls, the treasure of our beings, the pearl worth it all. Jesus is the treasure of our beings because he is so worthy.
One day, I went to ask Jesus: what is the reason for my life—please refresh me in the truth today? And, he replied that he is the reason for my life—his worthiness is the blessing of my days and the reason my life has meaning.
That we can know the King is marvelous and wonderful. What else can I say? Knowing Jesus is greatest pleasure—perfect and holy.
He is the blessing of our lives and souls. Jesus is remarkable to know. He is trustworthy with our emotions. He is tender with them, leading us on paths of hope and righteousness. He is worthy of our time; we will not regret one moment spent with Jesus. He is worthy of our investment of money—no amount too much to be poured out for him. He is worthy of our worship—plain and simple. He wants to be the subject of our obsession, as we lay ourselves at his feet.
Knowing Jesus is greatest gain. He reveals to us the Father, and we are filled with his Spirit to know him more and more. When Jesus is invited into our inner lives through prayer and the work of studying the Word, we are filled with endless joy. Jesus is the joy of our lives; we were made to know him. He is a pleasure to know, always filling us with good things. By contrast the thief steals and destroys. But Jesus gives abundant life.
I think of eternity in how we will need no more sun because the Lord Jesus himself will be our light. What wonder! To think of this reality fills my soul with praise. Jesus will take up the center of the new earth and heavens with a visibly glorious reality. We will need no more sun. We will behold his luminance, as he is the light of our very days. He will shine like all of the treasure of existence. He will be our greatest blessing.
And now, think of that reality as applicable to this day as a symbol. Think of Jesus shining to be your truest blessing in all of life. He loves to be sought over and over and over in our lives and days. We can return to him always to seek life and purpose, to seek hope and peace. And, he always gives. Days can drag; times can become weary. We can feel like the light has gone out from our eyes. But with Jesus, minute by minute, we have the strength to traverse these days of life. He is our true blessing.
In him, we behold the perfect Person who always treats us well—far better than we deserve. He delights to give us life and purpose and hope and peace. He delights to be the reason why we live our days. And too, his holiness is remarkable. He keeps himself separate from the evils of this world; we can always look to him as high and holy—the God who is forever set apart and gloriously good. We can trust his ways and his decisions for us because we know that he is perfect and our minds cannot comprehend him.
So, in the unknowns we can have a point of worship. We set down our own faulty reasoning and trust that there is a God who is true and real and good and pure and holy—and we can worship him as such. That is deep and rich blessing. We are stunned by his greatness, this one who invites us to be his friend.
Jesus Christ is our blessing because he is near and because he is transcendent. He is beyond what our imaginations could conjure. He is beyond what our senses can discern. He is beyond what we can think or hope. And still, he draws near to us as we draw near to him. He is our perfect friend and our holy brother, taking humanity upon himself and making himself obedient to death for our sakes.
We have a perfect friend who died for us. We have a perfect friend who lives, and is our holiness and righteousness, such that we need not fear a holy God. He welcomes us with his grace and mercy—a tool for each hand to draw us near to his holy throne room. He has made us renewed and refreshed and, most of all, made new through his work on our behalf. He is, surely, our greatest blessing. He has told us forever who he is—the great and glorious, the one lowly and humble. He condescends to spend eternity with us. He condescends to call us his friends. And, that is what we are: those who find our happiness in Jesus.
To Show Me the Way
“In him was life, and the life was the light of men” (John 1:4).
Jesus came to earth to show us the way of life. Think of the way that he interacted with people in great compassion. Think of how he lived a meager life here for eternal glory in times to come. Think of how he performed healing miracles—giving us way to know that he is God of very God. Think of how he was humble and lowly with those who were burdened and had questions. Think of the way that he brought comfort and peace to those who were grieving. Think of how he submitted to the will of the Father—even when it cost him everything—showing us that we must also die to ourselves. Think of how Jesus prayed and prayed and prayed—staying connected to the Father all of his life.
Jesus did these things and so much more. His way of life, then, illumines our path. When we wonder how to act and be, we can go to the life of Jesus to find ourselves impressed with the beauty of his version of humanity. His way was hope and life and peace. His way was everything we need to know about what beauty in the form of frailty looks like. He took our body upon himself—the flesh of all mankind. And, he became obedient and resilient in all of his ways.
He was born of woman that we might be born again in him—unto a new way of life that is characterized by serving and humble steps with our God. Jesus lights the way for us. He is the Word, who lived and breathed and showed us how to truly live. May we emulate Jesus Christ in his marvelously humble life. If God can be that humble, surely we creatures can humble ourselves unto his way.
Dear Jesus, thank you that your life provided light for my path and footing for my steps. You are beautiful. The way that you lived your life here is stunning in majesty. For you set aside your heaven to come to earth for us. And, that is more that my mind can lay hold to understanding. But, I thank you for it. I love you for it. I need it. It’s gloriously kind. I pray that your patterns of life would become my patterns of life. Let me be more like you, my Light and Life. Thank you for coming to show me the way. Amen.
He Is Our Life
Jesus is life. He is the eternal Word from whom our life comes. And, he powerfully holds the world together with the workings of his being. He is our eternal resting place, he is our security, and he is our life. There is a certain amount of awe we can have on this earth as it relates to Jesus being our life. That is, we can take a moment to reflect, to really think about what it means that God sustains life.
Jesus is our means of being. He is our mode of operation. He is the reason we breathe, the life that we have, and our point of survival. Jesus is more than water, more than air, more than food, more than covering and protection—he supports the very life force that drives through each one of us. Jesus is the hope of our souls because he is the life of our souls.
He alone can disposition each soul for eternity. He is also Judge, giving to us our eternal life by determining that his sacrifice is sufficient for our eternal life. We will never meet a Judge more merciful that our Lord Jesus whose every pronouncement for the saved will be: life! life! life!
There is no more perfect hope than the hope of Jesus because there is no more perfect source of life. He is where we go to drink from the eternal fountain. He is the one who allows us to drink fully and without cost. There is hope through the gospel because Jesus is the good news. He is the source of living and the source of sacrifice. He is the source of our help and hope because of who he is as the Life.
When we come to Jesus to drink of his life, we are tired, weary, and worn. We are ready to be done with the paths of the world that feed self to the end of feeding self. We want to live for a purpose beyond ourselves—for a worthy reason. Jesus is our reason. He is life because he is the source of living. And, he is also our life because he is the purpose for living.
When our lives slow for a period of time, and we truly contemplate the meaning of life, we can only determine that there must be a reason for all that we experience. Jesus is that reason. His honor and glory are the reason we go through times of stretching and molding. We are being made to better reflect him. When we endure life for his sake, we are pleasing him and honoring his will for our lives. And truly, for all eternity we will exist for the praise of his glory.
Everything that we receive from him in our lives eternal—those eternal blessings at his right hand—we receive so that we can bless his heart. He loves to give, and he is blessed when we receive. We honor him when we receive the fullness of his life. In eternity, we will receive from his fount always. And so, on this earth, we can receive from his fount—help for the day and hope for all of our tomorrows.
Jesus is the light of our paths while we are on this earth—and that is how he provides us meaningful times while on this planet. He knows what is best for us and uses his word to be a light unto our paths. The unfolding of the word of Jesus gives light—and that light provides the course for our lives. The Word of God will never steer us away from the life that is in Jesus, but always bring us nearer to our source and purpose.
When we see Jesus in glory, we will see the fount and reason for the lives that we have lived on earth—we will see the reason for our hope and steps forward here on earth. And, when we are in those times when we feel stuck on this earth—when getting out of bed in the morning is more challenging that we would like to admit—let us turn our eyes to our life. If he has given us another day, then there is more for us to be and do. There is more that he is making us into, and there are more ways to be help and hope for those around us.
Jesus is blessing us collectively through our lives here—for, we come to him together as the bride of Christ to gain our light for life. We are drawn together as Jesus is our reason because we praise him together for being our true point of hope. He is the light for us individually and collectively as we join together to speak forth the reason for our forward motion. His life unifies our hearts. And, his life leads us forward step by step each day.
I Sprang from You
“All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made,” (John 1:3).
It is a refreshing truth—to dwell upon our beginnings, to remember the fount from which we sprang. It is a refreshing truth to believe and know that one has a Creator who oversees the days of life. It is a blessed reality to think that the creation had an origin in a Person—and that Person is still overseeing everything that was made, to give it life and being in the great common grace of our Lord. These are very blessed truths.
And, I am struck today by the reality that Jesus made all things, and upholds them through the Word of his power. I am struck because this truth makes me feel extraordinarily connected to him. The fiber of my being, the essence of my person, the shape of my spirit and soul, and synapses of my brain all find their origin in the Lord. I am bound to a Person for my state and existence. I thank God that when mankind fell from Eden, we never became out of the reach of the God who created us. He did not stop sustaining life.
God does well with those he created. He does well with his creation. He brings it to a fitting end and purpose. All things will be set right again—this will happen in accordance with his character. The God who set things up will set things right. And, praise God that I will be found in Christ on that holy day. Praise God.
Dear Jesus, thank you that I am so connected to you, the Person. It is not mere life that courses through me—it is you, the Life. I am so thankful that you sustain my existence, and so thankful that you created me. I praise you that I can know my Creator—you are not distant but present. You did not abandon your creation but chose to set it right again. I thank you for the connection eternally that I have to you. I sprang from you. I was given life in you. I am not autonomous, but utterly dependent. And, that is a truth that fills my soul with purpose. If you give life again this day, it is because you are the Life sustaining all things. Thank you for your strong arm of salvation to give life eternal. You do not undo me because of my sin; you rescue your creation. Thank you for providing a path of rescue for anyone who might believe in you. Amen.
He Is Our Home
Jesus is the Savior who had nowhere to call home: “And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’” (Luke 9:58). And yet, this is the Savior who is our home.
When I think of home, I think of the candles burning, the fireplace roaring, and the doors closed to the outside elements. I think of a warm place, and a place where I can recline. I think of a place to welcome guests—provide food or lodging. I think of a place to share with family, and others who come to visit. I think of a home being the place where much of life happens—much of the routine of living. It is a place where I go to find the space to be myself—to stretch myself out and be, as much as possible.
I think of Jesus being our home, then. The Savior of the world being our resting place. He is the Savior who leads us home—away from the ways of the world and that loneliness to the ways of the Lord and his saving realities. He is constantly in the process of saving us from the world and welcoming us into his eternal presence. We grow to know him better and better through his Word in us to make us whole. We learn to stretch out with him—to be fuller and fuller versions of ourselves. And, he just simply is our place of comfort.
When I come home, I come to a place of rest. And Jesus—he is our rest. He is our home, in that we can be ourselves with him—indeed we learn who we are. Those weaknesses we thought were ours to bear until eternity, he relieves and lifts. He removes from us our besetting sins and he crowns us with joy and peace in his presence. Jesus is the light of our lives and the light of our days. He is where fire and candle dance in his presence and in his love. He is the place where we go for encouragement and comfort—for help and hope.
Where else do we have to go but to the everlasting arms of Jesus? There is no other place in this weary world for comfort and hope and help. There is nowhere else to go. There is nowhere else to be. There is nowhere else to be. Jesus wants us to find our home and help and blessedness with him. He wants us to go to him and be ourselves. He wants to be the foundation upon which we recline. Jesus is our hope and our help—our blessing and our security. He is all that a home should be, where we find our soul’s lodging and sustenance and rest.
When we trust in Jesus, we find the one who is our very best friend. The comfort and hope of our souls rest with him. And, is he not a marvel—that all of humanity, with all of the diversity of people, could find their true and perfect home with them? When a soul feels understood, it is said to find its “person”—its home. Jesus is that home for us. He is that rest and peace for us. He is that truth of person for us. Jesus is our unfolding hope—that is, he is where we can continue to develop and grow within a security of love.
Home is where love dwells. Home is where love expresses itself day by day. And, Jesus—he is with us through every day of our lives, providing home for our souls. Never does a day go by where he doesn’t welcome us to himself. Never is there a day that goes by in which he does not invite us to find respite and comfort with him. Our soul’s repose—for we are perfectly known and intimately loved—is in our Lord. As the old writers would say—avail yourself of Jesus. Take advantage of all of his blessings and comforts. Know that he is your soul’s home, and find your comfort there.
Jesus is where we go to find rest and help and peace. He is the light of our hearts, where we go when the weary world is crushing our spirits. He lifts and revives. He wraps his arms around us and breathes his life into our hearts. Jesus is the place where we rest our heads. He came to have nowhere to rest his head, such that we could recline on his breast all of the days of our lives. Let us go into him, close the door, and find the rest of our souls—known and wanted there in his holy presence.
For Speaking to Me
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God” (John 1:1-2).
Jesus is here called the Word—divine disclosure of the will of God. We are right to understand that God wants, therefore, to communicate with us. He wants us to understand him—not fully, of course, by truly. And, we come to understand him through the one who was sent of God. We understand him through Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh.
He dwelt among us. And, we know that he did and spoke everything in his life in accordance with the Father. They worked in perfect compatibility through Jesus’ mission on earth. The Father was delighted in the Son—and the Son took refuge in the Father through prayer.
We are right to believe that God wants to walk with us, to be with us, to communicate with us, and to work with us. We are right to believe that he drew near to us and took up our cause in a beautifully intimate way. We are right to rely upon his heart for us—his high priestly concern and attunement to our needs. We are right to treasure his very intercessions for us before the Father. We are right to believe that Jesus is for us.
Jesus is God. The Word is God. And, the Word has made God known to man.
Think of it—this one who cooked the disciples breakfast (John 21:1-14) is the one who is only begotten of the Father, in eternal bliss within the Godhead. God has spoken. And, he has done so through this wonder of a Person, Jesus Christ.
Jesus, I want to hear the words of these verses as though for the first time. I want to react with utter gratitude that you came to this earth to take on flesh and dwell with us. I want to wonder at the ministry you took up for my rescue. I thank you for being the Word made flesh. I thank you for the self-disclosure of God. The garden of Eden closed the opportunity to walk with you—until you came to this earthly soil and made a home with us. You caused to be possible what we, mankind, destroyed with sin. You, the Word, have made yourself known to us. And, as I begin this new year, I thank you for speaking to me in Jesus, the Word.
He Is Our Stability
When I set my head down on my pillow each night, I have peace and rest that I know Jesus Christ. I have made the ask: I have trusted in him for my salvation. I don’t fully know why, but it was frightening to trust in him and only him for the salvation of my soul. Trusting in myself is what I knew. It is what I felt comfortable doing. But then, I put myself in his arms alone, and I rested there. I was safe and secure. He is our stability of salvation.
Each night as I rest, and before my mind falls into its sleep, I think about Jesus and the firm foundation that I have with him. I think about how I can lean on him—that he is my rest and my peace. Each night, I renew my decision to trust in Jesus for my salvation by resting in him. If something were to happen to me in my sleep, I would still be resting on him when I awoke in the realms of glory.
Yet, still, while reflecting here and resting here on this earth, he is the stability of my day. I know what to expect, walking with my dear Jesus. I know that he will surprise me with his plans for my life. I know that he will surprise me with how he leads and blesses me. I know that he will take me into interesting and new directions. I know that he will reveal my life to me as it moves forward. While he is surprising and inventive concerning my life direction and his leadership of me, he is also stable.
I know that he is holy and pure and true. I know that he is leading me for his Name’s sake. I know that his love will never end—it will go on forever and ever. It is an everlasting love. I know that my walk is solid when I walk in his ways. I know that my days are full of his mercy and dependent upon his abounding grace. I know that he will be there in prayer, listening and guiding my spirit forward. I know that he lifts me and prepares me for what he wants me to do.
I believe that Jesus likes to be our place of security and solidity. I believe with all my heart that he loves when his saints depend upon him alone. There is peace in knowing that Jesus is our security and safety. I think about all of the evil forces of this world—the realm of demons and devil. He will protect us from attack and from all temptation, providing a way out. Jesus is the King, and his kingdom is present here wherever he is acknowledged as the King—wherever he is obeyed as such. His kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. And, as a participant in his realm, I know that all of the forces of evil without and all of the evil tendencies within will meet their demise.
Knowing that Jesus rules the world is the stability of our lives and existences. He is our stabling force. When we are overwhelmed by the workings of the world and by the spiritual forces that are against us, he commands us well through his power and glory shining in and through us through the Holy Spirit. There is nothing about our lives that surprises God. There is nothing about our futures that catches him off-guard. If we are in a time of testing, we can trust that Jesus is the Rock upon which we can lean.
At times, there will be testing in our lives. There will be trials and patches of rough earth upon which we need to travel. But our prayers work because God has deemed our prayer to be effective with him. Our cries to him work. He answers them. We know that he loves to answer the prayers of his saints. And, he will rush to our side, being our guide and our fearless presence. He will send his help of stabilizing strength. Jesus is worth our trust. He will guide us through—sometimes with a different path or different results than on our minds. But he will guide us through nonetheless. Our paths will be straight through whatever we face.
The Lord stabilizes us through our salvation, through his charming leadership, through his steadfast character, through grappling with all of the forces of evil against us, and through experiencing difficulties in our lives. There is security in knowing the King of kings. And, though perhaps we would prefer that he rush us to his presence the moment we accept salvation, we can trust that he is working out his plan and ways for his purposes and glory. And we—we have the opportunity to show him our love for him now through our reliance upon him, and our trust that he is our good all of the days of our lives.
Greetings This Christmas Day
As we fill our plates with celebratory food and turn to the giving of gifts to one another, we can reflect upon the manner of Jesus’ birth. Praise God that he is lowly in heart. For while we give of our plenty, we also know our own wants and needs—the poverty of our hearts apart from Christ. He did not regard the high, but the lowly. And, he came the share with us in want and need so that he might be forever the King of our hearts and our treasure.
Anselm wrote:
“O loveable, O admirable condescension! God of boundless glory, Thou didst not disdain to be made a contemptible worm. Lord of all things, Thou didst appear as a slave among slaves. It seemed too little to Thee to be our Father; Thou didst deign, O Lord, to be our Brother also. Nay, more; Thou, Thou the Lord of all things, who hadst need of nothing, didst not refuse, even at the very outset of Thy human life, to taste to the full the inconveniences of most abject poverty. For, as the Scripture says, there was no room for Thee in the inn (St. Luke ii. 7) when Thou wast about to be brought forth, nor hadst Thou cradle to receive Thy frail and delicate frame; but Thou, Thou who boldest [sic] the earth in the palm of Thy Hand, wast laid, wrapt in rags, in the vile manger of a filthy cattle-shed; and Thy Mother shared with brute beasts a stall for her hospice. Be comforted, be comforted, you that are nurtured in filth and want, for your God is with you in your poverty.”
7 Truths about Jesus' Light from the Gospel of John
The apostle John makes a special point in writing about Jesus’ light. Though the list below is not comprehensive, we can glean several key features and truths about the light that Jesus is and gives to his followers.
1. Jesus’ life is the light of men. (John 1:4)
There is a special connection between light and life. Jesus’ life has a certain type of feature to it—it brings people into the light. It lifts the countenance, it rebukes sin like a storm, it denotes a level of peace with God that only Jesus can give. Jesus’ light is the light of life. His life perpetuates itself into our lives such that we continue on in light forever.
2. Jesus’ light shines in darkness. (John 1:5)
Jesus has come to bring his light to a context: the world. And, this passage shows that Jesus’ thinking, his teaching, his power, his manner of being, his perfection, and his ways are not of the darkness of this world. He does not think as man thinks—his thoughts and ways are higher. When we come to Jesus, we see a stark contrast between the world and the Way.
3. Jesus’ light is hated by the world. (John 3:20)
Sadly, those who trust themselves, who live for themselves, who follow the ways of the world, who haven’t come to the light of Christ for forgiveness and cleansing—those who are caught in the cycles of working evil hate the light. Exposure of evil goes against the world’s thinking. It acts contrary to the thought of the flesh that we are “good people.” True light exposes, but those who follow the pattern of the world do not want to be exposed. May it be known that coming to the light with Jesus is not frightening—he comes with us, as the strong Savior, and looks with us at our lives so that we can know and walk in the truth.
4. The repentant come to Jesus’ light. (John 3:21)
Those who recognize that true light is found in Christ are those who see the mercy of Christ. He offers his light to cleanse and bless—to help and uplift. He offers his light so that we can enter into the fullness of his life. Those who have accepted the mercy of God are those who are repenting of sin—they acknowledge the truth of God that there is no one who is good. The good work of repentance and walking with Christ that ensues means that those who walk with Jesus love to come to the light and give him all of the credit for their works that align with his ways.
5. Jesus is the light of the world, the light of life. (John 8:12)
Jesus is the majestic and worthy one of the Scriptures—the one who has walked into a world of darkness, that he might rescue and save it. Jesus’ light is far-reaching and bold. It is a light that is not easily forgotten, and a light that illumines the heart, mind, and soul. To experience Jesus is to be changed, to be new and fresh and pure. Jesus himself is the light—all of this goodness emanates from him.
6. Jesus’ followers become sons of light. (John 12:36)
By believing in the light, Jesus’ followers become sons of light. The light of Christ shines through his people. There is sin in God’s people, there is hypocrisy, there is confession needed, there is self-righteousness and pride and a host of wrongs—but sons of light long to be in the light, that sins may be forgiven and washed away and that true light might come from within where the Holy Spirit indwells the believer. He gives power and strength for increased goodness.
7. Jesus takes believers from darkness to light. (John 12:46)
There is a concrete change that occurs in the life of the son of light. And, it is a change wrought through the compassion of God. He came into the world to bring anyone who would believe in him from the darkness to the light. In the darkness, there is stumbling, there is evil, there is all manner of wrong. Jesus knows what he created us for—for fellowship with him who is Light. Jesus came to bring us to himself.
How beautiful that Jesus came to be the light of men! That the holy God would come to associate with our race, the human race, and is a gift of mercy. He aligned himself with mankind while being the perfect Light—to lift us to the place where we could know him and rejoice in what rejoices him. He is the Light of the world; he did the “unthinkable” in coming to become man so that he might illumine for us that he is the way to God. We required a change: to love what is light and lay aside darkness—to love what is pure and set down all manner of sin. And he is that change in us through the Holy Spirit.
This Christmas season, we can rejoice that Jesus is the light of men. As we see Christmas trees, and lights on home, candles in our churches and displays of lights in our cities—we can remember the true character of light. Jesus’ is a light that is contrary to the workings of the flesh and the world—and is all about giving Jesus the credit for shining through us. To know God’s goodness is to know life, and that life is eternally ours through the gift of Jesus’ coming.
'23 Reads
The ten books below are not ranked; you’ll not find here “the best books of the year according to Lianna,” “a list of books I endorse,” or even “my favorite books I read this year.” Instead, my list is comprised of a handful of books that drove themselves into my thinking—in the assorted ways described below—and changed me this year.
The Evangelicals, by Frances FitzGerald
The picture developed of evangelicals is not always what I would choose, not always flattering and not always representative of my viewpoints as an evangelical. Evangelicalism is a wider and more diverse movement than I knew. On another point, this book, unsurprisingly, sees the movements of evangelicalism as responses to culture rather than movements of the Holy Spirit for biblical fidelity. The power of the movement comes not from meeting culture/ societal trends in time and space, but from the Holy Spirit who draws men to God. Still, this book was an education.
The Pilgrim’s Progress, by John Bunyan
I have not read The Pilgrim’s Progress since high school. Rarely do I read books a second time, but this re-read was overdue. What I didn’t remember from the first time: the clear and beautiful presentation of the gospel within the book. Also, I found it moving that this entire work came from one mind so evidently devoted to the Scriptures. I found myself developing new tools in the fight against sin—new reasons to avoid sin and cling to righteousness.
Through Gates of Splendor, by Elisabeth Elliot
I confess it: I had never read this work, despite being familiar with the story. It was a pure joy to read—such missionary zeal for the Lord, such sacrifice for him, and such inspiration to follow Christ wherever he leads. I found myself swelling with Christian love for these brave missionaries of the Lord. The gospel is God’s good news, and these missionaries proclaimed that truth with power.
A quote from this book particularly challenged me concerning how one of the missionaries was known for following Christ, his Captain: “Obedience is not a momentary option; it is a die-cast decision made beforehand.” May I have that level of obedience.
The Essential Scriptures, by Kevin Zuber
At Moody, I took systematic theology with Dr. Zuber. This book was a helpful, minimalistic review of his excellent classes. Here is a book primarily of and about Scripture. There were also brief interactions with tradition. I am glad to have it in my back pocket, and I feel refreshed in the Scriptures, well, essential to each area of doctrine covered.
John MacArthur: A Servant of the Word and Flock, by Iain Murray
The book made me love righteousness more, resonate with a high view of Scripture, and relish the witness of other Christians to how God has shaped and formed them. It ministered to my very spirit. Perhaps this is my favorite book of the year.
Come, Lord Jesus, by John Piper
I was particularly helped by “Part 1: Reasons to Love Christ’s Appearing” in Come, Lord Jesus (which is also found here). This section of the book was purifying. Does my heart long for Christ’s coming in order to be freed from sin and because God has saved me from judgment? I want to see Jesus face-to-face. I do. There is no doubt about it. But to have these motives set before me strengthened my purity while I long. I want Christ to be drawn to come and meet me because of the way in which I walk, and the way I think about his coming.
Breaking Bread with the Dead, by Alan Jacobs
I liked the direction of this book. It gives reasons to be less judgmental toward the people of history. The book advocates allowing differences to be, while being glad that those in history moved us closer to our ideals. We can commingle with the thoughts of different times with grace and discernment. I would also add from the standpoint of the Christian tradition that sometimes we simply stand in awe at those in history.
Called to Cultivate, by Chelsea Patterson Sobolik
Called to Cultivate was simply a treat to read. As a stay-at-home mother, I appreciate Sobolik’s viewpoint as a woman working outside of the home; that is, I find her writing on career, calling, and womanhood interesting. It was like taking a peek into a different life (though she does incorporate some points for women in my circumstances in her book as well). That’s what I most liked about this book—hearing from a woman processing and managing a very different life than mine in a very Christian way. Even though I am not a stranger to working outside the home, I am not doing so now; I found the book broadening, for I have grown very accustomed to my way of life.
The Christian Manifesto, by Alistair Begg
Chapter 5 is titled “Generous Forgiveness.” I felt the Lord stirring my soul as I read these teachings. Have I forgiven? Do I hold grudges? Have I exhibited a censorious spirit this year?
Unfortunately, I have seen the following quote from page 60 to be true (and have been part of the problem in the past!): “…churches in which there is a strong desire to maintain theological purity, moral rectitude, and clear expectations regarding church membership—are perhaps most in danger of coming down on the wrong side of what Jesus is saying here about judgment (Luke 6:37).” As someone who has a history of being judgmental and hopefully a future of being welcoming, I find this quote to be highly important.
Tactics, by Gregory Koukl
Koukl gives examples of debates and conversations he has had with unbelievers. His goal, as he puts it, is to put a stone in the other person’s shoe in each exchange—to give the other person a reason to be uncomfortable with an unbelieving point of view and to see the Christian worldview as one worth thinking about. I find myself wanting to revisit this book because of his many examples of counterarguments to unbelieving viewpoints; I think a list is in order. In short, this book sharpened my thinking and increased my knowledge. My gratitude!
A Slowness to the Season
One aspect of Christmas that I often forget is the slowness of the season. What I mean is this: there always seems to be a period of slowness as a pregnancy comes to full term. The mother is very ready to give birth. And, the child is in tighter and tighter of circumstances in the womb. Time must have slowed for Mary as she awaited the birth of her Lord. She must have felt very ready before the hour finally came. She must have felt the desire to give birth and have this precious, worthy Baby in her arms.
I would like to think that we can emulate the slowness of the season—as Mary experienced it. We can think about the preparations. Just like preparations for a newborn baby, do we have everything ready? There is a yearning to make preparations. But, they don’t make us less ready for the hour of celebrating our Savior’s birth, as if a to do list must tear us away from the season—they can make us more ready as we feel increased readiness. Though I know that time does not go by slowly, I think that we can allow our seasonal preparations to feel like the preparations for a newborn: they make us so expectant.
Slowness can also come in the form of waiting for the actual day. We make preparations, we travel, and we put up lights as a sign of the season’s illumination of our souls. All of this is done in preparation for a particular day of celebration. God had a few things prepared for the birth of his Son—the Shepherds, the star, and the angels, to name a few. Even though our preparations are for a celebration and not a birth, I think that the preparations can make us eagerly anticipate the day of celebration. Perhaps we can key into the slowness of the season here too. We are awaiting a day, a particular time, and it won’t come sooner than it’s scheduled.
Everywhere we look, there seem to be Advent devotionals or the encouragement to read the gospels, Isaiah, or the birth accounts in particular—Scripture makes us ready for the season, as do church sermons that have helped us meditate on the coming of Jesus. They all prepare us for a special day of the Baby’s arrival—of celebration of the birth of God. There is a slowness and a lingering that we can take over our spiritual preparations as well. This is a time of year when I often think even more about the people around me who aren’t walking with Jesus—taking time in prayer for them and hoping for their salvation. Scripture and sermons and Bible reading and prayer all make us ready.
It seems that we can mimic the slowness that describes those few days before birth—the deep and abiding readiness for the baby to come. It seems that we can take up our celebratory preparations and our spiritual preparations to make us feel ready while we ponder this special birth.
The slowness of the last period of a pregnancy was mirrored, I think in the slowness of the time of Jesus’ upbringing. He had a childhood. He had a career. He had a life—all before his public ministry. He must have felt so very ready in this gestational stage of his life to do what he was born to do. I wonder if he, in his humanness, felt the time slow as the day and hour of his ministry drew near.
Slowness can help us; pause can ready us. There is an inherent slowness to this season. And, I think that we are wise to let it come upon us. Just as Jesus’ life ushered forth into a period of public ministry, we can have seasons of time that are preparing us for more of what God wants us to do. Are you in a period of preparation? Are you in a period of becoming readied? Are you in a season of slowness before a new stage of life starts?
This season we call Advent reminds us that there are seasons of slowness before seasons of work and calling. Mary held the Christ child closely in her womb while she waited, waited, and waited for his birth—to hold the precious child, her Lord. Jesus lived a life of waiting all before he picked up his ministry. There is a slowness that is precious for our souls. A slowness of remembrance of Christ. A slowness of remembrance that we belong to God, for his work and purpose. A slowness before the celebration breaks forth. A slowness before we are led into another phase of life.
Let’s allow our preparations tune us into our readiness, as God prepares us to see Christ’s birth freshly and as we are gathering ourselves for what God has for us in the new year of walking afresh with this Jesus. Take up these moments as we wait for the celebration of our Savior’s first breath and gracious life.
Paths of Freedom
Freedom. It’s a word that I am growing accustomed to considering. Freedom from what and to what? I adore the verse of Scripture that says that ways of the Lord are wide freedom: “and I shall walk in a wide place, for I have sought your precepts” (Psalm 119:45). We are saved from what we want to do—saved to do what we were meant to do. There is freedom for our days held up in this mighty verse.
What are the pressures of the world, but of accomplishment, achievement, status, and position? The Lord is setting me free from those. These idols that I place in my heart like they are displayed on the shelves of my person. But what if achievement is stripped away? What if abilities change, or giftings shift? What if we’re meant to start back at the beginning of the course and find a new way forward?
I think that God wants us to be free unto his ways—and invariably I find that his ways are all about the heart, the mind, and the will. Specifically, they are about the character that we produce. Who am I? And, how will I react when my desires for achievement are not God’s will for me?
Do you know what I have found? Surely you will not be surprised by my word: freedom. My mind has been conditioned to see only certain paths available to me: work and schooling have been paths to success. But when I look outside of those bounds, new paths become available to my thinking. I have the freedom to enjoy. I don’t know how many times the Lord has said to my spirit in recent days: enjoy your life.
And so, I am reorienting my thinking according to what brings me joy and enjoyment. What brings satisfaction and rest? What brings health and healing? What brings hope and peace? I have slowed my days, reoriented my purposes, and shifted my thinking. For me, writing here brings me peace and joy. Reading and studying bring me enjoyment. Having a deep life of prayer—something I have sorely neglected in past years—brings me healing and satisfaction.
If I were to prioritize accomplishment, I would not invest my time in a little blog, set my heart to studying that is not aimed at any kind of career, or pursue a life of prayer. But God’s ways are different and higher. They are helping me relax and rest. I reach and stretch for what I can link myself to that will bring peace and accomplishment. But as I do, I am brought back here: the simple written word where honesty of spirit meets the page. And, I am brought back to the joy of studies. And, I am pulled into a life of contemplation and prayer.
Freedom has come with the slowness of my days. Freedom has come when I pursue what I love to do, despite the outcome. Freedom has come as I set my spirit toward the presence of God to flow with him, as he moves, and become closer in my heart to his ways.
I am not where I once thought or imagined I would be. I have no position, rank, or career—I don’t possess achievements of note. There is no reason to particularly regard me. But, I am encouraged by the words of Jesus, the beautiful words of Jesus:
At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. (Matthew 11:25-26)
Jesus paused and took these holy, designated moments of prayer to the Father—ensuring they were recorded in Scripture—to offer thanks that those who are like children have been taught of God. Children were of no earthly regard, not yet being able to work in the fields or help with the dynamics of home life; they did not have rights. But to such as these—not to the highly regarded, accomplished and well-stationed—God first revealed his ways.
And to this little child, to me, coming to him for milk, Jesus is revealing the ways of his freedom. He doesn’t see as the world sees. It doesn’t matter to him if the world regards me, or if I have accomplished laudable acts or career advances. I am convinced that Jesus has deliberately set these aside for me in favor of a simple life—a simple life of freedom.
Were God to bring achievements into my life, may I never be like the wise and understanding, but remain a little child. And, may I never lose the simplicity of life that I have gained here with the freedom to breathe in each moment and exhale the days.
I am learning not to grip particular paths of life anymore—the ones that I once imagined. I have loosened myself from them—for what I gripped had gained its own hold on me. But God has wrested me from the hold of these and set me into a new reality. I am still growing accustomed to it, but I am telling Jesus in prayer that I will learn the ways, the paths, the patterns, and the sense of this new life as he leads me on.
Receiving Encouragement from Jesus
When I go to Jesus in prayer, I want to tell you what I received from him—what encouragement of spirit he gives to me. And then, I want to tell you all of the ways I experience difficulty in receiving this encouragement of spirit—all of the ways I fail to receive what he wants to offer.
What Jesus offers me is blessing and encouragement to my spirit, especially in the face of disappointments. He narrates his love for me. First, he tells me that I am loved. I am held in his heart. He has engraved me on his hands. I am known by him and cherished. Second, he tells me that I am wanted. I am not cast aside; I am wanted and desired by him. He tells me that I am cared for and that I stand as a full person before him. Third, he tells me that I am his own—I belong to him; even when I don’t fit other places, I fit with him. What more could the heart want that to be enveloped by these truths?
But, sadly, my spirit does not always receive what Jesus offers. I tell myself a counter-narrative. And it runs opposite of what Jesus tells me. I don’t always receive from Jesus what he wants to give to me. And, though I know he never tires of offering me his encouragement and aid, I often wish that I could better assimilate his news for my soul.
Instead of believing him about who I am, I resort to thinking myself an unworthy sinner. And, apart from God, that is what I am. I lived a life unworthy of God—full of filthy rags. I lived a life that was contrary to who he has now redeemed me to be. And, I am so used to that life, so used to those thoughts of myself, that I struggle to live in the new reality of my being the daughter of the Most High God. The truth is, God wants me to be changed and made new. He wants me to full embrace the beautiful transformation that he bought me with his blood. He wants me to enjoy the gift of the rebirth that I have been given. Do I think it holier to live in a state of despair over past (and present) sin? Do I think it wiser to consider myself only unworthy and sinner?
I do.
But Jesus wants me to know that he doesn’t keep telling me these blessed truths over and over and over and over for me to dismiss them and think that I have holier and wiser thoughts than the ones that he is delivered so sweetly to my soul.
He speaks the truth over me, and that is fact. He speaks the truth of who I am now. I can now live a much worthier life—a life unto him—because I have been saved into the newness of grace. To know grace is to live. To know grace is to finally be able to breathe in this life and have assurance of goodness for the life to come. God wants me to fully receive his grace, as much as I possibly can.
And, when I do, my spirit lifts. My disposition changes from a sense of diminishment of self to a place of glory in utter thankfulness. I admit, I know there must be more to the “other side”—that is, to living in God’s grace and his love and his wanting of me. There must be even more, but right now, what pours from me is thanksgiving—and a sense of wonder. “Really? Really, Jesus?” I ask him over and over. “You mean I don’t have to account for what I did anymore? You mean I don’t have to dwell in a place past of darkness any longer?” Wow. What else can I say? But wow. God’s grace is truly that amazing reality we sing about.
And so, when it comes to receiving God’s encouragements for my spirit, when the darkness of the past tries to pull me in once again, I preach to myself: receive. Let it be so. If God has said it, then it must be. If God has given it, then it must be true. If God has forgiven it, then it must be gone. Okay, my soul?
Every day, multiple times per day: “You are loved. You are wanted. You are my own.” Please keep telling me, Jesus. Please keep telling me, if it pleases you to do so, because I want to keep receiving it—drip by drip, piece by piece, and step by step. Apparently, this part of the gospel, the very good news of Jesus, is not instantaneous for my spirit. Apparently, this is a lesson learned over time. But, he keeps telling me, so he must be willing to walk this path with me. God is good.