Communicating with the Lord
When I communicate with the Lord, I have been brought to a place of friendship.
Perhaps that feels wrong to you. Maybe you feel like, if you fear the Lord as you ought, you should approach him only in reverence.
I understand. I used to write prayers full of carefully crafted words. I would polish my sentences, check for theological precision, and form what I hoped had some eloquence for the Lord.
But I wasn’t bringing him my heart.
Now, my prayers are much more feelings-oriented. I tell him how I am doing and bring him my feelings. I confess feelings I wish I didn’t have, which I know aren’t right, good, beautiful, true, or pure.
In this way, I speak to him as a friend.
This is part of what Hebrews 4:16 means when it says we should confidently approach the throne. I think of how Moses spoke to the Lord as a friend (Exodus 33:11). Now, marvel of marvels, we are all invited to do so through Christ (John 15:15).
We can come near, as we are. And, he takes this lump of clay and molds me. I love the feeling of being shaped by his hands. I love the sense of his mercy and grace pouring over my sin to heal it and set me in the right direction.
I think of this verse in Psalms: “Instead, his delight is in the LORD’s instruction, and he meditates on it day and night” (Psalm 1:2 CSV).
The instruction of the Lord has become my delight. It sounds counter-intuitive, in a way. How is instruction my delight? Is that not relegated to the area of rote duty? How is instruction a pure joy? It comes down to two realities, at least. First, it feels right to be righted. When we learn righteousness, it feels like we are becoming more like the selves we were created to be. We are growing up in righteousness rather than being denigrated by sin. Our joints are being put back into place. And second, it brings pleasure to God when we are righted. And that is the goal and aim of our lives.
When I pray to God now, I long for righteousness and companionship.
When polishing my words for him, I missed relating with him. I missed the fact that I was communicating with Someone. It was more soliloquy than dialog. But now, I understand what the psalmist is ever doing. The psalmist brings “complaints” to the Lord to be heard by a Person: “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears” (Psalm 34:17a).
The psalmist responds to being heard by having faith and affirming trust in the Lord, which perhaps wasn’t there in the psalmist’s heart before the conversation started. Prayer creates faith, I believe.
It is a friend who wants to hear of the heart's inner workings. It is a friend with whom you can be yourself. It is a friend who will listen to your concerns. It is a deep and dear friend who will help right what has been wronged in you. It is a kind friend who will comfort you.
And, all the while, this friend is God, who beckons trust from our inward parts.
My prayer practice has completely changed over the past several years; because of it, I am different.
I am not left to deal with my feelings myself. Prayer invites total honesty that works with me and works on me. I am heard and righted.
When I don’t see through situations to resolution, prayer reminds me of the work God does on my behalf to make a way before me. I am less anxious—and less apt to make poor decisions based on my limited knowledge.
Prayer is the practice that means I am kept company by the Lord. I am in the presence of a God who wants to hear from me. I learned to bring my concerns to God as a child, but as an adult, I forgot it. Now, I know that God wants to hear even the details that seem insignificant. I am listened to in full.
I want to know the Lord more and have gotten to know him more once I prepared for an actual exchange, an encounter, an honest dialog. Prayer is not so complicated. But the Lord likes us to go with a bit of faith: faith that he wants to hear from us and will meet with us.