The Goodness of Counseling

The fireplace in my home is located in what I affectionately call the library. It’s actually a living room that used to function as a family room. Regardless, I love to sit in front of the warmth during winter and read a good, nourishing book. The light and heat from the fireplace warm me to the core. It’s remarkable what a good routine can do for the soul.

When I set myself in a posture of receiving goodness from the Lord, it can be incredibly uplifting and fruitful. Just as I choose my favorite, familiar spot in front of the fireplace to enjoy its warmth while reading, I can also place myself before the Lord to receive his goodness and draw strength from him in my life.

Recently, the word "goodness" has been on my mind. It’s a word—and a practice—that I have neglected. I admit that I often dwell on what’s wrong in my life, focusing on the difficulties. Though I generally stay in good spirits, these troubles can weigh me down, making life feel challenging.

However, the Lord is bringing goodness into my life. The question is: Am I open to receiving it?

One area of goodness I’ve experienced is confiding in a trusted advisor. I’ve heard it said that counseling can be a sacred spiritual practice for anyone, and I wholeheartedly agree.

Life often takes us to unexpected places, and these scenarios can be burdensome. Counseling provides a space to receive goodness; it encourages me and helps lay a stronger foundation in my soul by allowing me to listen to a perspective different from mine—one that contrasts with the thoughts running through my head.

Good counseling yields positive fruit. I wonder if you have experienced the benefits of good counseling—if you’ve had the opportunity to share your struggles with another committed believer and, in return, receive support in times of trial or, again, have a sacred space to be heard.

Counseling is merely one way I position myself to receive the Lord’s comforting warmth. While it is a significant way for me, I also find nourishment in attending church or having deep conversations with friends. Still, counseling remains irreplaceable in my life.

There is much discussion about the stigma surrounding counseling, and that may be part of my motivation for writing this piece. I want it to be normalized and viewed as a blessing, just as it has been for me. It is one of the best things I do, and it confirms that one perspective—my own—is insufficient. I need to hear wisdom from others and seek a broader understanding even beyond the familiar voices I have encountered throughout my life, however helpful they may be. I must open myself to receive more from the wider body of Christ.

Please understand that I don’t believe everyone must attend counseling; I don’t prescribe any such thing. I simply hope to help normalize it for those who want to experience its benefits. Counseling can correct misguided thinking, relieve pressure points, and bolster areas of discouragement.

Here I am, sharing only one practice that can lead us to the Lord’s goodness—there are countless others! Perhaps this piece will inspire you to think of other ways the Lord might bless your life as you walk with him in the upcoming year. If you are drawn to counseling, know you have a fellow traveler in me.

I believe the Lord is beckoning us to come to him, and he blesses the methods we use to seek him. He wants us to approach him and desires to flood our lives with his holy goodness. We live in a dark world that often promotes discouragement and disunity, but the Lord offers us peace, health, and comfort.

Maybe you are an emotive person, like I am, with complicated feelings. Perhaps, like me, you find that journaling alone isn’t enough. You might hear the Lord’s encouragement but need it confirmed through another soul. These are just some reasons why diligent believers may benefit from the sacred space counseling provides.

The warmth of the Lord is ready to meet you. If you feel stuck or are looking for a way to express your true feelings and thoughts, consider what counseling has done for me: it has allowed me to receive goodness. Be encouraged.

Rejoice and Remember

The first snow of this year took me by surprise. I looked out the window, and behold! Small, tender, and robust flakes were falling to the ground. Some landed softly, while others melted away into the warmer landscape.

This Christmas season has also caught me off guard. I held on to the summer months as long as possible, keeping our pool open well into September to enjoy every 80-degree day. Fall brought apple orchards into view, and then, behold! It is Christmas. This time of year fills me with various emotions, but primarily this year, I wonder: Am I doing enough?

Am I doing enough to welcome this season of wonder and excitement? Even gift shopping seemed effortless this year. Everything has come easily. But still, I ask myself: Am I doing enough?

I am asking the Lord that question, and I believe he is guiding me to understand: My modest preparations and my surprise at this season are truly sufficient. What guides this season for me is contemplating the baby in the manger. The essence of Christmas doesn’t require elaborate feelings or preparations, only a heart that rejoices and remembers.

Those twin words—rejoice and remember—surround my Christmas season this year. I am released from the pressure; it’s okay that I haven’t felt great anticipation at Christ’s coming. It’s alright that my preparations have been simple. It’s even okay that I prefer the warmth of summer swimming to winter’s snowfall, as lovely as it is from my family room window.

Rejoice and remember. Let me elaborate.

This year, I want to rejoice that Jesus came. Rejoice! He has come to free the world, offer himself, and make all things new and right again—a promise for the future. He has come to bless all who call upon his Name. So, I can rejoice that Jesus has come. I will tuck that thought into the folds of my Bible and take it out each day—rejoice.

And then there is remember. This word is filled with significant thoughts about what Jesus came to do. He came to save me from my sins. Just this morning, the Lord filled my heart with joy and peace as I remembered that I am clean, whole, perfected, and seated with Christ in the heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6). I can easily forget this. My Bible study group knows I can be hard on myself for my sins. I often speak about losing patience with myself when I struggle with issues I thought were resolved. Instead, I can remember. Jesus’ purpose was to seek and save the lost—gloriously, he came to seek and save me.

There are all sorts of ways to celebrate Christmas. I hold no animosity toward lengthy preparations or detailed lists. I have no disapproval for the season’s festivities, nor do I disagree with the wonder that especially captivates children as they admire the lights and experience the traditions of Christmas. I am thankful for all of these aspects when they come.

But this year, I have been brought back to the basics, which is good for me.

What is resonating with you this year as you consider your Christmas celebrations? What meditations are on your heart? Is the Lord asking you to simplify your routine? Or perhaps you have your own essentials from him to embrace.

Whatever is mainly on your heart as Christmas approaches, I encourage you to take a moment to reflect deeply. Put down your phone, turn off the television, quiet your spirit from responsibilities, and ponder.

Indeed, this season teaches us that reflection is a worthy goal.

This Christmas, as I wait for the summer sun to return, I reflect on the joy and freedom that Christmas brings. I contemplate how the sun shines in my life today, refreshing my soul. The Lord has given us the greatest gift (2 Corinthians 9:15). We know this because we will praise him forever for what he has done. Forever.

The words of the following verse are on my tongue as I bring my Christmas reflections before me: “Because of the tender mercy of our God, whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1:78-79). The sunrise has come. The verse that precedes states the reason: “To give knowledge of salvation to his people in the forgiveness of their sins” (Luke 1:77).

Rejoice and remember, friends, the tender ways of the Lord in bringing us the gift of Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins, now and forevermore.

Assurances from Scripture for When Difficulties Overwhelm

Sometimes, we all feel like we need a little extra help. Because this is true, Scripture reminds us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

So, here’s a list of encouragements for those moments when life feels particularly complicated, and burdens seem too heavy to bear alone—reminders from my heart to yours:

1. The Lord listens to the brokenhearted and hears their cries (Psalm 34:18).

2. He weeps with us during grief and times of loss (John 11:35).

3. The Lord is an ever-present help in times of trouble and heartache (Psalm 46:1).

4. His eyes are on the upright; he is attentive to their cries (Psalm 34:15).

5. When life's pains overwhelm us, the Spirit groans our feelings to the Father (Romans 8:26).

6. In moments when stress feels overwhelming, the Lord shows patience and kindness (Psalm 145:8).

7. When concerns seem insurmountable, we can be comforted by the knowledge that the Lord knows the future and everything to come (Isaiah 46:10).

8. When we feel too weak to take the next step, the Lord understands our need for rest (Matthew 11:28).

9. There is rest for the weary in the arms of the Lord; he is a refuge for all who come to him (Psalm 91:2).

10. The Lord provides a way out when sin or temptation seems too strong to overcome (1 Corinthians 10:13).

11. When guilt from past sins leads to deep regret, the Lord replaces that sorrow with the joy of forgiveness and cleansing (Psalm 32:1).

12. The Lord knows everything we need before we even tell him what's on our hearts (Matthew 10:29-31).

13. When life takes a dark turn, or depression weighs heavily on us, we can trust that the Lord is our help (Psalm 28:7).

14. The Lord listens to our prayers and knows everything in our hearts (Psalm 139:4).

15. The greatness of the Lord offers comfort when life's limitations are clear (Psalm 145:3).

16. Nothing is too difficult for the Lord; with him, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

17. When the Lord doesn't remove our hardships but helps us through them, we can be assured that we are moving forward in closeness with him (Isaiah 50:10).

18. Even when we lack the words to express ourselves, we can rest assured that the Lord Jesus intercedes for us in the heavenly places as our perfect Mediator (Romans 8:34).

19. When we are uncertain about what God is doing in our lives, we can trust that everything will ultimately resolve for good (Romans 8:28).

20. When the Lord seems distant, we have his Word to guide us step by step (Psalm 119:105).

21. The Lord himself is the friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24; John 15:15).

22. Nothing can separate the believer from the love of the Lord, even when personal sin seems to distance the relationship (Romans 8:38).

23. When the Lord works in our lives, light shines from darkness, and peace emerges from distress (John 1:5).

24. When we sin and fall short, the Lord is kind to us, drawing us to repentance (Romans 2:4).

25. The Lord is a strong tower for those who are righteous by faith—a refuge of peace amid any circumstance (Proverbs 18:10).

Scripture is filled with reminders of the Lord’s kindness and assurances that we are never alone when our burdens feel heavy. We must seek out these Scriptures to be reminded of the Lord’s greatness, kindness, and love.

When we distance ourselves from Scripture, we often fail to see all that the Lord offers, along with the reasons behind our distress—a fallen world that will one day be restored. By not approaching the Lord and his Word, we miss the opportunity for cleansing and renewal in our walks with him.

Yet, the Lord is faithful to lead us home. The one who seeks him will never be put to shame, for the Lord will draw near. I understand this life can feel long with its hardships, waiting, pain, and darkness. But I have come to realize that there is always light from the Lord available to us each day (Psalm 18:28).

He desires to show you his faithfulness. He wants to take you by the hand and guide you through your burdens. Bring your troubles to the Lord and be filled with the assurances of Scripture that he is near. Speak your specific concerns to him, and he will listen. Wait upon the Lord to carry you through your circumstances while faithfully seeking him. Rest in his unfailing heart for you, especially when you don’t see the next step. And remember, relief is coming; he is actively working.

A Slow Drift

Photo credit: Unsplash

There are seasons of time when I especially want to be in the presence of the Lord. I am in one of them right now. 

I want to soak up his goodness and receive all the kindness and love he has given me.

But this wasn’t always the case.

I wasn’t always as close to the Lord as I am now.

I once let other desires and affections rule in my heart. I loved the things of the world more than the things of the Lord (in practice, though not in underlying dedication).

This bore itself out in my quiet times, which were essentially nonexistent. I would rarely open my heart to the Lord or go to him for comfort. Because of my distance, I thought of him primarily as a Judge. My sin tainted my view of him because I knew the judgment I deserved.

What made this time in my life worse was that I often pretended to be okay. I pretended to be close to the Lord because, well, all my life, I had imagined myself close to the Lord. But this time of life was different. My soul was dry, and I was feeding off things that were not my Lord.

I confess these things to you because I imagine we are all susceptible to these seasons of drift. I hope that you don’t experience one. But I know I didn’t expect it; I hardly noticed it and didn’t see it coming beforehand.

And that, my friends, is frightening.

It is frightening to think we can have our hearts pulled away from the Lord while assuming ourselves close to the Lord. It is alarming that this kind of self-deception exists. The Lord wants our hearts.

Thankfully, the Lord woke me up. I distinctly remember praying and hiding my sin from the Lord—and feeling his disapproval. He wanted me to always acknowledge my sin before him. That was step one.

The Lord has always been precious to me. I didn’t want to admit I had wronged him, and I still don’t. But to be honest and authentic with the Lord, we must sometimes do what we don’t want. We must accept responsibility for our sins before him.

As I have said, that is step one.

The next step for me was to receive his grace immediately. He was quick in giving it to me. He was not reticent to demonstrate his forgiveness. They came immediately. They came before I fully accepted my responsibility for my sin. Even before I could fully admit that I had indeed drifted from the Lord, he reassured me that he would not leave me. Once I confessed my responsibility, he accepted me—it is as though he congratulated me on doing the one thing pleasing to him that I had been so reluctant to do.

He congratulates me on a job well done when I admit my responsibility for my own sin. Think of this—this is the Lord! He is always gracious and close to the humble. I do not call myself humble, but acknowledging my own sin is a humble act that I needed help to achieve. This is the very act that ushered me closer to the Lord.

After that, it was also all grace. He ushered me into his presence to bless me. He dazzled me with his kind treatment, love for me, acceptance of me, and sheer character and existence. As an admitted sinner, I fell for him—like never before, forgiven and welcomed near.

And now, it is as though his greatness in my heart has crowded out those desires of the world. My loves are much more rightly ordered. My love for him is assuredly supreme. My heart requires work—hard work. It did not come to me correctly aligned. It has been a work of God to help me understand what it means to love him first and with all of me. I, of course, am not perfect in this. But I have experienced what the love of God does in the heart by expelling sin.

This only happened in stages, was gradual, and was a work. His love is still ordering me, but I am not drifting now.

The kindness of the Lord is so lovely to me. His riches of mercy that are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) on this earthly journey are like a cloak or covering over me, sheltering me from the world. Every morning, I need to know that my story with him continues—that he will still do this ordering work within me. And he does. I used to dread the Lord in a way; I was afraid in an unhealthy manner because I had not fully encountered his kindness. I needed to lay myself before him and have faith that he rewards those who humbly seek him (Hebrews 11:6).

Communicating with the Lord

Photo credit: Unsplash

When I communicate with the Lord, I have been brought to a place of friendship.

Perhaps that feels wrong to you. Maybe you feel like, if you fear the Lord as you ought, you should approach him only in reverence.

I understand. I used to write prayers full of carefully crafted words. I would polish my sentences, check for theological precision, and form what I hoped had some eloquence for the Lord.

But I wasn’t bringing him my heart.

Now, my prayers are much more feelings-oriented. I tell him how I am doing and bring him my feelings. I confess feelings I wish I didn’t have, which I know aren’t right, good, beautiful, true, or pure.

In this way, I speak to him as a friend.

This is part of what Hebrews 4:16 means when it says we should confidently approach the throne. I think of how Moses spoke to the Lord as a friend (Exodus 33:11). Now, marvel of marvels, we are all invited to do so through Christ (John 15:15).

We can come near, as we are. And, he takes this lump of clay and molds me. I love the feeling of being shaped by his hands. I love the sense of his mercy and grace pouring over my sin to heal it and set me in the right direction.

I think of this verse in Psalms: “Instead, his delight is in the LORD’s instruction, and he meditates on it day and night” (Psalm 1:2 CSV).

The instruction of the Lord has become my delight. It sounds counter-intuitive, in a way. How is instruction my delight? Is that not relegated to the area of rote duty? How is instruction a pure joy? It comes down to two realities, at least. First, it feels right to be righted. When we learn righteousness, it feels like we are becoming more like the selves we were created to be. We are growing up in righteousness rather than being denigrated by sin. Our joints are being put back into place. And second, it brings pleasure to God when we are righted. And that is the goal and aim of our lives.

When I pray to God now, I long for righteousness and companionship.

When polishing my words for him, I missed relating with him. I missed the fact that I was communicating with Someone. It was more soliloquy than dialog. But now, I understand what the psalmist is ever doing. The psalmist brings “complaints” to the Lord to be heard by a Person: “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears” (Psalm 34:17a).

The psalmist responds to being heard by having faith and affirming trust in the Lord, which perhaps wasn’t there in the psalmist’s heart before the conversation started. Prayer creates faith, I believe.

It is a friend who wants to hear of the heart's inner workings. It is a friend with whom you can be yourself. It is a friend who will listen to your concerns. It is a deep and dear friend who will help right what has been wronged in you. It is a kind friend who will comfort you.

And, all the while, this friend is God, who beckons trust from our inward parts.

My prayer practice has completely changed over the past several years; because of it, I am different.

1. I am not left to deal with my feelings myself. Prayer invites total honesty that works with me and works on me. I am heard and righted.

2. When I don’t see through situations to resolution, prayer reminds me of the work God does on my behalf to make a way before me. I am less anxious—and less apt to make poor decisions based on my limited knowledge.

3. Prayer is the practice that means I am kept company by the Lord. I am in the presence of a God who wants to hear from me. I learned to bring my concerns to God as a child, but as an adult, I forgot it. Now, I know that God wants to hear even the details that seem insignificant. I am listened to in full.

I want to know the Lord more and have gotten to know him more once I prepared for an actual exchange, an encounter, an honest dialog. Prayer is not so complicated. But the Lord likes us to go with a bit of faith: faith that he wants to hear from us and will meet with us.

For Such a Life

Jesus has been teaching me about relaxing and enjoying. My Bible study has been about delighting in Jesus and finding my joy and treasure in him. And the sin that I have been convicted of as of late is holding onto the negative—instead of striving for the joy. I imagine these lessons will be coming toward me in various ways over the next several weeks (months? years?). I am reminded that we do not grow instantly. I want results. But, it’s okay that it will take me some time to reorient my worst-case-scenario thinking.

Jesus wants it to be abundantly clear to my spirit that I have plenty that is full of joy in my life. One area that comes to mind especially is ample time to do as I please. This is a luxury. And I know that not all have it. That makes me want to enjoy it all the more. That podcast episode that I want to hear? I can make time for it. That book that I have started? I am going to be able to finish it, Lord willing. The reflection that I want to do over this blog and its direction? I will be able to sit and pray/ contemplate.

Ample time for leisure and desired activities is not a luxury I have always had, and not one that all share. It is born partly from having one child to raise who is in school all day, partly from having left the workforce when we moved from Texas to Illinois a few years ago, and partly from the fact that I have graduated now from my master’s program in theological studies that took me many years to complete. I am not used to not having pressing needs or deadlines—but here I am. Most of all, this time comes from the sovereign hand of God in my life—the God who puts the journal in front of me and nudges my spirit to write my thoughts before him, the God who fills my mind with curiosities about what I will read or discover next, and the God who is with me even as I write these words.

My temptation is to feel like I am not productive if I am not working toward a goal. I have been achievement-oriented to a fault. Not having goals, I have been bracing for falling off some arbitrary mental ledge. But instead, Jesus is working this achievement orientation out of me with this great grace: with thoughts of relaxation and enjoyment. Have you noticed too how gracious Jesus works sins out of our lives—with kindness and mercies?

What if being productive is not the call of God on my life at this time? Author Chelsea Sobolik recently wrote about the difference between calling and assignment. My calling is love: toward God and others. But, in short, my assignment at this time is to this simple, quiet life. Sobolik referenced a verse that I often call to mind: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you” (1 Thess. 4:11). This is my quiet little life. God has brought it to me. And, it ought to be my ambition to live it—not only that, but to live it with great joy.

When I delight in the life God has given me, I am honoring and blessing him. I am proclaiming my contentment. I am blessing the hand that set me here. And, I am honoring the wisdom that is giving me these lessons, and not others—these days, and not busy days. Let me make the most of this time, of these quiet days, of the work that I do with my hands here and now.

How could I not want to linger with God over the pages of Scripture and deepen my faith through reading the works of others? How could I not want to sit right here in this desk chair, looking out at my wooded, peaceful backyard that will soon be full of spring, and not want to glorify my Maker for such a life?

He Is Faithful through the Cross

Jesus is a faithful friend. We think about it. But do we know it? Do we remember how faithfully he set himself down for us, so that we could be lifted up? Do we know how resoundingly he said yes to death so that we could live?

The Sacred Cross

At times, I think about the cross, and I hold myself back from it. I think it too holy, too bold, too grand. I fear having the wrong thoughts about the cross—I fear trivializing it in any way. But, that means that my heart is sometimes far from the cross.

I think of Paul’s words that he was determined in his ministry to know nothing but Christ and him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2). That determination challenges me. My spiritual caution can cause me to do exactly what I fear. My caution with Jesus in my thought can then create distance between me and the cross I love.

Jesus is so precious to me that I hold him far from me because I know that my mind is not worthy of thoughts of the cross. My heart feels too feeble and inadequate to grasp what Jesus did for humanity.

But Jesus wants me to proceed anyway. His thoughts toward me are faithful love, and merciful lovingkindness. He wants me to dwell upon the reasons for his faithfulness: that he won me as his own child through the cross that feels too great for my person.

Jesus calls me near through the cross. Even though I keep him at a distance, he is faithful to bring the cross near. How can I do justice to that which confounds me and silences my spirit? How can I do justice to that which is more beautiful than I can express?

I Will Be Thankful for the Cross for Eternity

I need to let notions of eternity do their job in me. They have a role. And, that role is to allow for an expression of thanksgiving—to allow my imagination to receive that the cross is what I will honor forever. I need not fear, I need not keep the cross at a distance from my heart, because I will be able to express my thanks forever. When this life’s love for the cross feels inadequate, I will have eternity.

His faithfulness will never end. Even in all that eternity long, the cross will never cease to save me. There will not be a moment in eternal glory when the cross will fail to bring me at one with God—at total peace. Eternity will not change; I will have life forever. And that, that is a faithful love. 

Setting the Cross Before Me

When I set the cross before my eyes—when I dare—I do not know how to react. Do I cry? Do I smile? Both? I am stunned. I don’t want to see him there: I don’t want to see my precious Lord hanging upon that tree.

But then, I am reminded of two truths. First, I remember when Jesus told Peter to get behind him (Matthew 16:23)—all in response to Peter being a stumbling block concerning Jesus’ most important work on earth. Second, I am reminded that Jesus is not hanging on the tree any longer.

You see, I need to let it have happened, like Jesus insisted to Peter that it must happen. I need to allow the truth of the historicity of the cross to be my reality—that it was God’s foreordained reality. And then, I need to remember that Jesus doesn’t suffer there anymore—and never will again. He is eternally glorified.

I am not sure that I would have been a help to Jesus had I walked among him. I wouldn’t have wanted for him what he needed to do—and indeed did for joy (Hebrews 12:2). Had I understood, would I have submitted to seeing my precious Lord hanging upon the tree? Not without anguish.

This I can remember: he hung upon the cross for me and for joy—because it was necessary to save me. Only he could be the second, better Adam. Only he could become the firstfruits and new representative of the human race so that all could be saved through him.

Thankfully, I never had to hear from Jesus: “get behind me Satan,” as Peter heard from our Lord. Thankfully, I did not have to witness the death of my Lord. Thankfully, I live in the time past the crucifixion and need not dwell upon any image that has him still on the cross. The cross is bare, as the tomb is empty. And that is very good news.

Conclusion

Jesus is faithful; he is faithful to let me mull, over time and eternity, the reality of such a sacrifice. He is faithful to bring pieces of the cross to my remembrance so that I can live with it before my eyes. He is faithful to remind me that he is now honored forevermore. He is faithful with my slowness of spirit to care for me in all of my concerns—my sorrow over his suffering and my fear that I cannot receive all of the immense meaning the cross brings into my life.

I don’t like to look at the Savior suffering. It is not pleasant to my thought. But he did it for the joy. And so, I can think of the joy it brings too. This piece of the cross God sets before me now: the joy that he is faithful to me forever through it. And, he will yield praise from me in his time and his way, as he deals with me. He is faithful to give me eternity to thank him for the tree.